Because They Loved Me
(My "This I Believe" Submission)
Weary from dealing with a troubled and disrespectful teen, my mother drove me from the trailer park in mid-Michigan to the rural river town of Cheboygan to stay with my father, who, for reasons unknown, had not talked to me in over five years. I was fifteen.
I remember the fear that overwhelmed me as I stepped out into the warm, August sunshine, into a life I could never have imagined, with a man I hardly knew. The time we had spent together, before he became completely unknown to me, had not been pleasant. He stormed angrily out of the house toward us and began to yell at my mother, calling her fat and stupid, saying it was impossible for me to stay. A feeling of utter hopelessness and loneliness wrapped its awful hand around my heart and squeezed until the tears I tried so hard to suppress streamed down my cheek. My mother came over, assured me of her love, and left.
Four months later, I wanted out. It just wasn’t working. The fact that I felt like my father didn’t want me there in the first place made it hard to adjust. So, I looked for ways to get out of the house. A job seemed to be the best idea, so I strapped on my boots, hat and coat to begin a four-mile trek in six inches of snow to The Family House Restaurant. Little did I know that the owners of that wonderful establishment would not only give me a job, but they would also give me a loving home and family that I still cherish today.
After six months of working as a dish rat and not being able to cope with life at my father’s house, I ran away to live with a waitress. I took a couple of concert t-shirts and some deodorant. When the bosses found out about my arrangement, they selflessly offered their home to me, knowing that I had dabbled in drugs and alcohol, knowing that I was flawed. With open arms, they welcomed me into their family, and I gladly accepted with a joyous heart.
I believe even the most damaged hearts can be changed by love. For years, I felt hollow and alone, unwanted. It was impossible to trust or love anyone. True, selfless love had to slap me in the face for me to realize that it was ok. Jim and Judy had to show me that it was ok. Ok to love, to trust, to give, to cherish, to be alive, to live in a world where so many hate, and to know that that hate can be drowned in a sea of selflessness and compassion. I must thank them for showing me this. I must thank them for being my mom and dad. I love you.
